“We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, planning for the future, trying to predict the future…as if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. But the future is always changing. The future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes. But one thing is certain: when it finally reveals itself the future is never the way we imagined it.”
I got a raise last week at work. This is significant to me because it will make my life less complicated. I will be able to pay down my credit cards and take the extra money to save for the future.I do not know where I’m going or what will happen when I get there, not knowing is slightly scary but I think it will be okay.As I have said in my past blogs, I have only ever dreamed or imagined my future. Well, things never turn out the way you plan. As a teenager, I thought I’d be married by now with kids. As a college student, I thought I’d be working at a wonderful theatre or working as a production assistant for a Hollywood film. Well… I am neither here nor there. Currently, I am sitting on my bedroom floor of my grandparent’s home listening to the “Sleep Station” I’ve created on Pandora. Instrumental music seems to pull me into my creative writing world where I can just be me and write my heart to whoever wants to read.
I have a passion for writing. I feel I have a gift to write and maybe my blogging will turn into something greater than I expected. It may just turn into something I never could have even imagined.
I’m putting the tools in place to get me to wherever it is I am supposed to go. I am researching production companies, theatre companies, and places to live. I’m spicing up my resume, updating my cover letters; printing out headshots…I’m always searching, always looking anywhere and everywhere to something that appeals to me.
As an actor, I want to speak the truth. I do not want it just to be memorized lines. I want it to be raw and real. As I jump from that cliff and leap and bound, I want the audience right there with me…rooting for me.
As I writer, I want the reader to hear my voice and root for my characters; or, in the case of a blog root for me.
As a person, who loves to help people, I want people to know I’d make the best assistant, the hardest and most dedicated worker.
I’m a dreamer. I’m a creator. I’m a giver. I’m a lover. I’m the only me and the best me. As proof of the things I have just stated, I’ve kept true to my writing a blog (even though I skipped last week). I have learned “Someone Like You” by Adele on the piano. My goals for 2012 were to learn to play the piano and write a blog for the entire year.I’ve made friends. I’ve lost friends. I’ve become friends with acquaintances. I’m performing better and better at my job. I’m laughing more. I’m crying more. I’m loving life and thankful for every moment I have.
So far, 2012 has taught me that I’m strong, that I meant for something more. Soon, when my future comes…I just might find out what that something more is. The future, “the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes,” I sure hope you’re ready for me.