WISH YOU WERE HERE

“We all get at least one good wish a year….over the candles on our birthday.  Some of us throw in more.  On eyelashes….fountains….lucky stars. And every now and then one of those wishes comes true.  So what then?  Is it as good as we hoped? Do we bask in the warm glow of our happiness? Or do we just notice we got a long list of other wishes waiting to be wished? We don’t wish for the easy stuff. We wish for big things. Things that are ambitious…out of reach. We wish because we need help, and we’re scared, and we know we may be asking too much. We still wish though, because sometimes they come true.”                 – Grey’s Anatomy

Sunday July 15^th 2012, I celebrated my twenty-sixth birthday. It was a simple birthday with family and my person. I enjoyed it. As I blew out the imaginary twenty-six candles on my birthday cheesecake, I wished for happiness, peace, love, joy, a different job, and life in a new city.

           I was presented with the opportunity today to interview for a flight attendant position with United Airlines. I have to call to schedule it. The interview is in Houston, TX. I have to pay for travel expenses (flight, food, and hotel). When I read the email, I was immediately hit with nausea, confusion, excitement, frustration, anger, happiness and more nausea. Unfortunately, I do not have the means to pay for the expenses to get me to the interview. I do not own credit cards. I am sure I could loan it from someone, but I don’t want to risk the money if I don’t pass the interview. It would be all for nothing.
I applied for this position, as well as one with Continental, when I was having a bad week at work. This was four months ago and I honestly thought nothing would ever come of it. It had been four months. I figured someone else got the job. I have my good and bad days at my current job, but no matter what I do I still make the same amount of money. No matter how bad it gets, I still have a job. It pays the bills. I have made some good relationships, some in the office I work in and some in the other offices all over the United States. I am thankful for the experience I have gained, but seriously? I handle registrations, Department of Transportation rules and regulations. I have learned more than I have ever wanted to know about rules and regulations for truck drivers. I went to school for acting. I have been in plays. I have been a stage manager. I have been a dresser for actors. I have been on run crew. I was trained to do amazing things! Instead I sit behind a desk, forty hours a week and do data entry.
      I cannot sit here, writing and except an opportunity to just fall into my lap. I just don’t think this flight attendant position is my opportunity. I want to move to a city where I can work in film, television and theatre. I do not care if I never act again. I love the production side of entertainment. I like to be there from the beginning…watch the actors develop and see a show grow from nothing into something profound. All I really want is to be a part of a theatre family again. I miss my college theatre family, but now it’s time to find a new theatre family.
I thought being a flight attendant would allow me to move to an exciting new city. Truth. However, the demanding hours and rigorous schedule, it would be like I didn’t even live there. I want to be able to settle down, work somewhere interesting and have the flexibility to audition and/or work in a theatre.
I am at a crossroads in my adult life. I am stuck with a decision I cannot seem to make. Do I take a chance? Do I take a risk? Do I just stay where I am, save up money, and then move to a city of my choosing? I just feel stuck.
I have a choice and I just have to figure out what I want to do. I have to decide what I think is best for me for this moment in my life. As I sit here weighing the pros and cons, a hear the voice of Jiminy Cricket in my head.

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star

As dreamers do

                                                             Like a bolt out of the blue
                                                  Fate steps in and sees you through
                                                        When you wish upon a star
                                                           Your dreams come true

Wishes on eyelashes, wishes on stars, wishes on fountains, wishes on candles. We wish. I still wish though, because maybe it will come true.