GREAT EXPECTATIONS

“We all think we’re going to be great, and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But, sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is what keeps us steady…standing still. The expected is just the beginning-the unexpected is what changes our lives.”- Grey’s Anatomy

I expected to be working in the arts after I graduated from college. I moved to Austin, TX to pursue a career in film/television and theatre. For the first few weeks things were very promising. I ran a sound board for a touring stage play. I got a job with NBC filming a documentary and then I fell off a ladder. I was laid up for eight weeks and got a nanny job as my bills fell behind. I worked as a nanny for five months, became home sick and moved back home. I have been home for almost three years and I’m nowhere near where I expected to be.

I know I am meant for something more. I have a job that pays the bills. I don’t loathe by job, but I don’t like it. I am in this weird “in between” place. I love the people. I love the relationships I have developed with the workers out in the district offices and our vendors. I am here at this job because I do not know where to go. I am afraid that if I leave home again, I will fail. And maybe this is true, but if I don’t try I will never know. I came back home because there was too much uncertainty. I came home because I wasn’t making the money I needed to live. For the past two years, I have worked so hard at getting my credit cards and car paid off. In three weeks, I will be debt free. I wish I could say the same for my college loans, but the rest of my debt will be gone. It is such an amazing feeling to know that I’ve accomplished another goal. I now know what it takes in order for me to live and what money I need to make.

I want to work in film, television, and theatre. I want to act, write, produce, direct, edit, assist, and design. I have such a passion for the magic behind the creation of a production. Being a part of the work that goes into a show is such a creative high, which is probably why I have never done drugs. I have such a passion for acting. I want to tell the truth of a character’s story, raise the stakes, run of the cliff, and be nominated for an Emmy or have the whole audience in the palm of my hands. I want to yell, “CUT.” I want to run around like crazy on a set and help the crew and actors prepare for day.

“The expected is just the beginning-the unexpected is what changes our lives.” As I sit here tonight writing, I keep close to my heart my hopes and dreams and maybe something unexpected will come my way and change my life. I am always searching for opportunities, sending my resumes and cover letters. I am always searching. I cannot just sit and hope for the unexpected. I have to sow the seed and hope that the unexpected will come and change everything.